I feel like I’m always the burden if bad news
Today a good friend of my cousin and mine passed away today. He, and who I was told was his girlfriend, crashed into a semi truck this morning. She was killed instantly while he was flown to the hospital only to pass away shortly after.
This really sucks. He was such a troubled boy in high school but was the most real person there. Out spoken, blunt, but humble.
I just saw him two weeks ago. He had his shit together. Had a positive outlook for his life ahead.
And what’s worse is that it happened in front of my job. Now every time I go to work I’ll now, this was the last place he was at. The last place I saw him. The last place of everything for him.
I don’t know about things anymore. How could someone so young, so real, just have that happen? How can he just simply cease to exist? I keep thinking that its not real. That he is still in the hospital fighting, or that he’s with his friends and sooner or later I’ll see him around the campus and be shocked at how far he’s come. From not graduating high school to almost getting his GED and on his way to getting an associates.
I feel bad because it was me who had to tell my cousin, living all the way in Colorado,that David is gone.and worse, no one else told him. He had to look it up on the online news to get the full story.
This whole year is bad and I’m the one bearing the bad news to everyone. So much death and negativity is around me. Its just hovering and slowly devouring me. He’s here still. I feel it. I don’t want to believe this shit. Like why? Why?! He was just here! I’m so angry and sad and ….
I don’t know….
May David Lamas rest in peace. My heart goes out to his family and his more-closets friends. As well to the family and friends of his girlfriend. Also to the truck driver, I hope you are safe and cherish your loved ones a lot more You are in our prayers.
so i had a dream that, during a class presentation, I was entering a URL
and on the bottom you could see my history. It was nothing but Porn websites. Everyone was laughing and joking and I felt this pain in my throat. It stayed there for very long until out of nowhere I spoke out, “everyone watches porn,” very nonchalantly and informative.
Soon in the “future” (my dream future, like in a movie—3 months later—) I was a public speaker, promoting and telling everyone that we all watch porn and there should be no shame or bashing of those who go public with the fact that they do.
I woke up recapping all that in my head and now I can’t deal..